Past the Pinnacle

I've been feeling kinda weird ever since my marathon. Not because it didn't go well - it was awesome and it went so much better than I expected! The problem is that I had to come back to reality after an absolutely amazing weekend. It kind of sucks to be back in a mundane routine after riding an emotional high all weekend long.

On Monday, it was weird to be going about my day at clinical like nothing was different, when all I wanted to do was shout, "I ran a MARATHON this weekend! Isn't that awesome!" I guess I wanted people to acknowledge it in some way, to be talking about the race, or to at least feel a teeny bit of the excitement that I did. But the truth is, no one else cares that much.

My CI did ask how it went; I told her I loved it and I had a lot of fun. She even asked about my time, and I told her I ran it in 4:21, that I did better than I expected. And that was that. The time didn't really mean anything to her the way it did to me. The feat I accomplished this weekend didn't have the same significance to her that it did to me. I guess that's natural. Maybe you have to be a runner to understand.

As Tristan put it, "To you it's just a number. But to me, it's countless hours of dedication, hundreds of miles run in training, sweat, tears, blisters, sacrificed weekends, and the ability to push through and defy limits in an incredibly grueling and truly indescribable way."

The fact is, I accomplished something huge this weekend. Running this marathon wasn't just a race, it was the culmination of months of training. I've endured humidity, heat, wind, and cold. I've dealt with ice baths, blisters, fatigue, early mornings, and chafing. I've slogged through runs that were so slow and brutal, I would've given up if I hadn't been 5 miles away from my apartment with no other way to get back.

So, while it's easy for other people to say, "Oh she's just a runner" and perhaps to think that this came easily to me, it didn't. The race itself was wonderful, but the path to get there was not. It took a lot of hard work and sacrificed time. It took a lot of dedication to get up for a 10 mile run on a Wednesday morning when I didn't feel like running a damn mile. It took a lot of perseverance to keep on going even when I was having an absolutely terrible run.

Putting in the hours of training

Towards the end of training, I was just hoping I could make it to the day of the marathon. I was tired of running all the time. I was getting burnt out. I felt like I just had to get through this one race, and then I would take a break from running for awhile.

Then I actually ran the marathon. And LOVED it. No one was surprised more than I was!

So this week, although I have taken a little break from running, I've also been obsessed by it. I've stayed up late every single night this week looking up races online. At first I desperately tried to find another marathon I could run within the next month (crazy, I know!). Unfortunately, racing season is coming to an end and there aren't that many marathons left. There aren't even that many half marathons left that are within driving distance. I'm more than a little disappointed.

Last weekend was one of the best weekends of my life, and I don't want the magic to be over. I'm trying to make myself believe that this marathon was NOT the pinnacle of all races. I don't have to be sad now that it's over and I don't have to immediately jump into another race. I need to give myself some time to recover and appreciate what I did. I need to chill out - I'm driving myself crazy because I have post-race blues and race registration fever both at the same time!

What I can try to do is keep my re-kindled enthusiasm for running. I want to try to remember during the hard times how good running can feel. Already I'm losing the memory of it - but it was euphoric and exhilarating, and it's definitely a feeling I want to capture again. So while I don't want to get ahead of myself and take on more races than I can handle, I know for sure that I want to keep racing and keep pushing myself towards new goals.

I've been working on a race schedule for 2013 - stay tuned! It will be posted on the blog towards the end of the year. It might be a little surprising, a little crazy, and definitely full of new challenges.