Here's my dilemma: when I'm at school in Richmond, I miss my family terribly. But when I go back home for the summer, I start to miss all my friends in Virginia. I can't win!
During the semester, there are times when I'm really homesick. I get stressed out with grad school, and I just want to get a hug from my mom. Or I would give anything to spend an afternoon with Leslie and Bud, just talking and laughing about stuff. I would love to be able to have my dad take care of car stuff for me. And above all, it would be nice just to not have to worry about things and to let my parents take care of me.
But, the thing is, it's never quite like that. I love my parents, and I love being home and spending time with them. But I always forget how much I love my independence. I love making my own plans and hanging out with all my friends. I like to be able to go places without anyone nagging me. I like being able to wear what I want without criticisms. Basically, it's just hard to live in my parents' house again, where they treat me like a child. I try not to let it get to me, because I know they love me and it's hard for them to change how they treat me. But sometimes, it really gets to me.
It's also frustrating not to be able to keep the house the way I like it. I'm way neater than my mom, and it drives me crazy to have clutter all over the house. I do the dishes and clean the kitchen for her, but the rest of the clutter (plus all the dog hair) is way to much for me to keep up with. Sometimes I can't wait to go back to Richmond just so I can organize my stuff and live in a clean house!
I really don't mean to rant about living with my parents. I've had a good summer and had a lot of fun with them. I guess I just realized that I don't want to live with them (permanently) ever again. My mom has suggested that after I graduate from PT school, I could move back home for awhile to save money. I don't think that's a good idea anymore. I feel like a different person when I'm back home. In Virgina, I'm a responsible, capable adult. When I'm home, I feel trapped between the person I want to be and the person my parents still think I am.
Oh Kim,
ReplyDeleteI know exactly how you feel. When I'm in my own place back at school, not only do I have independence, but I also have SPACE. That's been my biggest challenege this summer. I only have one room where it looks like my stuff exploded. I can't wait to get back to my own bed and room and get everything ready to go for the school year, but I AM going to miss my family a lot too. Oh the joys of grad school.