Songs in my head

Here's what I've been loving lately on the radio:

Don't You Worry Child - Swedish House Mafia
You know how there are some songs that you like, but then you see the music video and it's so lame you don't like it anymore? This isn't one of those- I thought the music video was cool and it made me like this song even more.

It's Time - Imagine Dragons
I like this new band- they remind me of Daughtry a little bit. I want to check out more of their stuff! I read the bio on their website to find out where they came from. Apparently their band had a grassroots following and the song It's Time ended up being their breakthrough hit.

A Team - Ed Sheeran
I only know of Ed Sheeran because he sang a duet with Taylor Swift on her cd RED ("Everything Has Changed" - one of my faves!). I hear that he's been popular in Europe for a while but his songs (which have been out for years) are just now being played in the US as "new" songs. This song is rather depressing, but kind of hauntingly beautiful.

Sniff

Much to my surprise, I'm actually enjoying my clinical rotation at a SNF (Skilled Nursing Facility)! This could be another sign that I should give up my original plan to work in acute care. I think I may focus my job search more on the rehab side of things. I don't want to rule out acute care completely, because I still like the hospital setting, but I'm finding that I really LOVE rehab.

A SNF isn't what you make think. A lot of people think a SNF is a nursing home (if they've even heard of the term at all) and so they're turned off at the idea of working there. There are some long term care residents at the SNF where I work, but there's also an entire unit of rehab patients who are staying there for only a short time before they get discharged home. Those are the patients I get to treat.

I like working with patients who are deconditioned after a long hospital stay. We work on strengthening exercises, balance, range of motion, endurance, and of course transfers and gait. It's fun to come up with an exercise plan to get these patients back to their prior level of function. My patients are adorable! I really enjoy working with them.

I thought of this clinic as one to "get through". I didn't think I would like it all that much, but I find that I actually look forward to seeing my patients each day. It gives me renewed confidence that this is the right career path for me. I'm antsy about looking for a job right now because there are so many possibilities once I graduate! My number one goal is to find a job that I'll enjoy, where I'll get to help people return to the activities that they love, and where I'll feel like I'm making a difference in people's lives. I'm excited to try to look for a job like that in the coming months!

It's my life

I have noticed an attitude among teenagers recently that is really disturbing to me. In facebook posts and conversations I frequently see and hear comments like these:

"You can't tell me what to do"
"I'm going to make my own choices"
"I'll worry about me and you worry about you"
"It's my life and I'm going to live it my way"

I think in this age of independence, people want to feel autonomy in their choices. But I also think there's a danger in taking it to these extremes. Basically all of these comments boil down to two misconceptions. First, "it's my life" and secondly "you don't have a right to interfere". I want to look at both of these statements and give a brief explanation about why this kind of thinking is not only un-true, but detrimental to one's well-being.

"It's my life". Your choices never affect only you. They affect everyone around you, sometimes in ways you never expected. Sometimes the consquences ripple out like a wave and hurt people you never meant to hurt. Although, if you're so busy making your own selfish decisions and never thinking of anyone else, you probably don't realize it. Also, if you're a Christian, your life is not your own. You were bought at a price. You belong to Jesus. In the end, everyone will be accountable to God, not to themselves.

"No one else has a right to interfere in my life". I see this kind of attitude all the time and it makes me sad. First of all, I want to make it clear that I think people have a right to privacy. No one wants some busybody interfering in their life all the time. At the same time, it's foolish to go through life without allowing advice and input from others. I think close friends and family not only have a right, but an obligation to provide you with guidance, support, and counsel when they feel it's neccessary. Sometimes the people who love you can see things more clearly than you do yourself. Instead of getting mad and dismissing their advice as interference, maybe you should stop and actually listen to what they have to say. They may not be right all the time, but they love you and are only trying to help.

Personally, I get upset when friends sit back and do nothing- when they see someone they love about to enter a dangerous situation, or make a bad decision, and they don't feel the need to say or do anything. I think a lot of people are afraid of rejection or an angry response if they try to step in. It's sad that people are too independent to let their close friends care about them.

A few of my faves

There are some things that are simply the best. They far outshine other items in their categories and tempt you to buy them again and again. Whenever I buy an inferior product, I realize why these are head and shoulders above the rest. I guess I can be a little fanatical about my favorite things, but when I find something good, I want to let everyone know so they can enjoy it too!

Best Cereal: Cinnabon

This is my favorite cereal. In general, I don't like cereal all that much. I used to like Cinnamon Toast Crunch, but the cereal gets soggy after a few bites. I used to eat cereals like Fruit Loops or Lucky Charms, but I hate it when the milk turns a weird color. Cinnabon is the only cereal I've found that tastes delicious (plain or with milk), doesn't get soggy, and isn't full of artificial flavors that discolor the milk. I've driven to 3 different stores before in search of it when I couldn't find it. It is the best!

Best Sour Candy: Sour Patch Kids Berries

I love Sour Patch Kids, and sour candy in general. The one problem I have with it is that lemon always seems to be one of the flavors, and I don't like lemon. For awhile, I really liked Sour Patch Watermelon, but after awhile you get sick of one flavor. I also liked Lifesaver Gummies Sours and Sour gummy worms, but nothing compares to Sour Patch... except for that pesky lemon. But then they came out with Sour Patch berries. All the flavors are good and all the flavor combinations are good. (With the regular pack I always eat the red and green together, orange by itself, and avoid the yellow).

Best Soda: Diet Dr. Pepper

 

For a long time, I would've said Diet Coke. And I still love Diet Coke. But let's be real: a big part of the reason why I like Diet Coke is because I got used to the taste. I don't think it actually tastes like non-diet soda. It's not exactly loaded with flavor. Diet Dr. Pepper is the first soda that I think tastes like real soda in a good way. It has some flavor to it, but it's not overly sweet like full-calorie soda. (I can't drink real soda anymore because it tastes so sickeningly sweet to me). Ironically, back when I did drink real soda, Dr. Pepper was the one soda I didn't like. But the diet version is awesome.

Best Gum: Wrigley's 5 Rain

The one thing that always annoys me about gum is that it loses its flavor so quickly. I've found Wrigley's Rain to be incredibly minty for much longer than most other gum. I love the flavor and I love that it lasts so long. Some of the other flavors in the 5 series are good too, like Cobalt and RPM (the mint one). I've never tried any of the fruity ones since I don't like fruit flavored gum.

God's got a good grip

I remember when I became absolutely sure of my salvation. Before that point, I would go through periods when I felt really close to God, and times when I desperately prayed for salvation again "just to make sure." I wanted to follow God but sometimes I strayed for awhile- and then I would be so afraid that I wasn't really saved after all. It wasn't until about 3 years ago when I started reading the Bible more regularly and reading articles on theology that I became sure of my salvation. The reason I can be so sure is because it doesn't depend on me. God is the one who saves. If I had to trust in myself for any part of it, I'd never be fully convinced. But God did all the work.

I have always felt that God just had this hold on my heart. As much as my flesh tries to battle it; as much as I try to rebel and make my own decisions, I feel like I can only go so far before I come bouncing back like a ball on a string. I don't want to stray too far. Even when I'm feeling rebellious and fed up with Christianity; even when I want to throw in the towel and stop trying to live God's way, I never want to give up completely. There's always a part of me that wants to follow God and serve him alone. There's always a part of me that loves God and knows he loves me.

Usually it's comforting knowing that God has me in the palm of his hand. But sometimes it feels inescapable, like I didn't have a choice. I think I feel that way when I get tired of my flesh battling against my heart. I want to just give up and give in, but I can't. Whenever I start to go after my own selfish desires, I feel a sense of deep dissatisfaction. I know that God's purposes are what's truly important in this world and I can't live outside his will for long without feeling like I'm wasting my life.

A fellow blogger stated it this way, "I cannot sit and sip coffee and read good books only for my own pleasure. I cannot stare at the television every evening while precious minutes fly by. Time is short. I have seen God in his Word and I must pursue his will. I cannot allow myself to be drawn into excessive sleeping and eating and exercise and pursue all my own whimiscal desires – because I know. I know the love and power and grace of God and I must share it!"

Now that I know Jesus, I've been ruined for the pleasures of the world. I can never be satisfied by them, because I know the One who satisfies! I can't pursue my own selfish desires for long because I have a calling on my life. The hard part is surrendering to this calling instead of trying to fight it. To rest in God's hands instead of trying to escape. To follow God's plans instead of trying to do things my way. God keeps pulling me back with his strong grip, and this time I want to stay.

End of year book reviews

These are the rest of the books I read in 2012.

August: The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, Across the Universe

Guernsey was a book I read for a book club. It was a perfect choice for a book club because it was a series of letters written by people who were in a kind of long-distance book club. The characters in the story were so unique and loveable. Telling a story through letters can be difficult, but it worked in this book because you got to know each characters' personality through their writing style. Rating: 4/5

Across the Universe is a sci-fi book about a girl who is cryogenically frozen and wakes up hundreds of years in the future on a spaceship bound for another planet. The book was imaginative and suspenseful, although it was a little annoying that it took about 100 pages for the girl to wake up. It had some good twists and it was interesting enough that I want to read the next book in the series. Rating: 3/5

September: The Shack, Rebecca

The Shack was interesting. It's about a man whose daughter is kidnapped and murdered, but the story's not really about that. Instead, it's more of a theological discussion about pain and suffering. The book addresses some important topics with a different perspective, including the presence of evil and how God can allow horrible things to happen to good people. But some of it was a little boring and I didn't research it to find out if it was completely Biblically sound. Rating: 2/5

I have to admit, I didn't finish Rebecca, although I plan to soon. I had to return it to the library before I was done and then I got busy with clinicals. The main character in Rebecca is a girl who can't seem to get out from Rebecca's shadow. I found her wimpy and frustrating. The book is kind of dark and slow paced and I'm not really sure if I like it all that much. However, judgment will be withheld until I finish the book.

October: none

November: none

December: Reached

Reached was the final book in the Matched trilogy. I had a lot of expectations for this book... and I was kind of disappointed. The first book in the series was so good! The second one had a bit of that second-book-lag, but it was still interesting. The main characters discovered some important questions in the second book that needed to be answered. The third book could have gone in so many different directions- with the mysterious test tubes, the Rising, and the relationships among the main characters. Instead, the final book became about the Plague that was affecting people in the Society, and a race to find the cure. It was an okay book, just not what I was expecting. I think the final book could have ended in a half dozen ways that would've been more exciting. Rating: 3/5

Overall, I read some great books in 2012! Here are some I plan to read in 2013:
-A Million Suns (the sequel to Across the Universe)
-Fade and Gone (sequels to Wake)
-Unbroken (I've been wanting to read this one for awhile and haven't yet because it's a book that needs my full attention. I've heard it's amazing and it's my mom's favorite book.)

Breaking Bad

My new favorite TV show is Breaking Bad. It had been recommended to me by several friends, so finally during Christmas break I decided to watch it. OMG. I watched the first 3 seasons in a week. This show is incredibly addicting and amazing. Kind of like meth. (jk, I wouldn't know!)

Here's the basic plot: A high school chemistry teacher finds out he has cancer and only has a few months to live. He wants to provide for his family before he dies, so he decides to start cooking meth to make money. He enlists the help of a former high school student and enters the crazy world of a drug dealer.

The creator of the show, Vince Gilligan, said he wanted to produce a show where the protagonist became the antagonist. That's exactly what happens. Walt starts out being a sympathetic character, but as the show goes on, there is little to like about him. As he gets more involved with the drug business, he makes decisions which spur his downward spiral from beloved math teacher to hardened criminal. It makes you question what makes a person "good" or "bad". Gilligan says, "We want to make people question who they're pulling for, and why."

The acting on the show is amazing. Walt seems increasingly angry and heartless as he makes one morally questionable decision after another, yet he truly cares for his family and Jesse. The whole show is mainly about Walt's path to destruction. However, my favorite character is Jesse, who's a drug addict and Walt's meth-cooking partner. Jesse has been slinging meth on the streets for awhile, but now he has a chance to make some serious money by teaming up with Walt. I like Jesse because he doesn't seem to fit into any stereotype. I mean, he's kind of how you'd picture a meth head, but as you get to know him, he's a multi-dimensional character. Unlike Walt, who seems to be making fully intentional choices, Jesse seems to be trapped in a world from which he can never quite escape.

What I like most about the show is that you never know what to expect. Walt and Jesse are always dealing with the unforeseen consequences of their drug dealing, from murders to kidnapping, stolen money, arrests, and investigations by the DEA. It's somewhat hilarious how inept they are as criminals, but despite all their mishaps, somehow they always end up scraping through by the skin of their teeth. I never know what's going to happen next!  Breaking Bad is currently on its final season. I'm excited to see how it all turns out, but I'll be so sad when it's over!

Goals for 2013

After reviewing my resolutions for 2012, I just have a few goals for 2013. A lot will be happening in my life in the next year. I'll be graduating as a Doctor of Physical Therapy, taking the PT boards, finding a job, moving (again), and hopefully will start working as a full-time physical therapist! I don't want to put extra stress on myself by coming up with a long list of things that will be difficult to fit in. Mostly, these goals are to help me make sure I'm paying attention to all the other parts of my life, not just academics. I need to remember to take breaks and de-stress every once in awhile.

Goals for 2013
1. Run another marathon.
2. Go on at least 3 hikes on 3 different trails.
3. Join the VMFA and see at least 2 different special exhibits.
4. See the Tacky Lights next Christmas.
5. Continue reading through the New Testament.

Upcoming events in 2013
Job Search/ Find a Job
Find an apartment/ Move - March 1
Graduation - May 11
PT Boards - July 24