Time

I come easily
Long you think I’ll last
I’m stretched out like an eon

But I leave quickly
Leaving you aghast
At how night turned into dawn

No way to slow me
To get back the past
I’m the queen and you’re a pawn

Make much use of me
For I come too fast
And am all too swiftly gone

I don't have palmaris longus!

Something I learned today: I don't have a palmaris longus muscle!
It's not that big a deal, since it's just a thin slip of a muscle that aids in flexing the wrist. But it was pretty cool in lab, because I was the only one who didn't have the muscle in either forearm. The cadaver I dissected this past summer was also missing palmaris longus bilaterally. My kinesiology professor told us that about 15% of people are missing palmaris in one arm while 9% are missing it in both.

Here's how to check if you have a palmaris longus muscle: Touch the pads of your thumb and your pinky finger together and flex your wrist. The tendon should pop up right below your palm. If you don't see a visible bump, chances are you don't have palmaris longus.

Why this could be a bad thing: Palmaris longus can be used in a tendon or ligament graft. Since removing it doesn't produce any noticeable functional impairment, it's a great muscle to remove and use in the place of a tendon that has ruptured.

Life after facebook: Studying's less fun

Facebook Update:

This is the first weekend that I’ve really missed facebook. Up until now, I’ve been busy and I was enjoying the fact that I wasn’t wasting as much time on the computer sans facebook. However, this weekend I have nothing on my agenda except studying, and FB would have been a welcome study break. I can only study neuro for so long before I feel overwhelmed and need a break- usually every couple of hours. Then I like to go and do something mindless for a while to give my brain a break. FB would have been the perfect distraction, so I miss it more than usual. Still, I’m sticking to my guns and I’m going to hold out until the end of the semester at least!

Studying neuro is a pain in the rear. The only way that I can describe it is that there are different layers of complexity, and studying is like peeling back all the layers one by one. At first, I’m totally lost and confused and I don’t know what any of the terms mean. After studying, I learn some definitions and have a general grasp of what’s going on. I feel pretty good that I’m getting the hang of it. That’s phase one. Phase two occurs when I go into greater detail and realize that I didn’t truly understand anything that I thought I did. I get frustrated. I study more and eventually sort of understand it. I realize there are 5 names for one thing and no name for another thing. I go back and re-learn some of the terms, which now have slightly different meanings to me. I’m finally understanding this stuff! Then comes phase three. Although I understand basic concepts now, I don’t have anything memorized. I’ve finally grasped the big picture, but there are a LOT of minute details that are going to be on the test. Now I have to organize the information in my head. I have to be able to visualize cross-sections of the brain stem and the pathways of tracts. I have to know every single disorder and syndrome, where the lesion is, and the symptoms that would occur. It’s not easy to get all this info into my head.

You probably got bored reading that, but imagine how I feel studying it.

Shades of gray

There always seems to be that boring stretch in the middle of the semester where classes become monotonous, tedious- almost unbearable. The same routine of classes, studying, and homework continues to keep me busy, but there’s no variety or excitement anymore. I find it hard to pay attention in class. I sit there waiting for the clock to tick down so that I can go home… where I’ll inevitably study the same material we just went over. It just seems like we’re learning a lot of boring stuff.

Yesterday, to break up the monotony, my roomies and I took the evening off from studying. We ordered pizza and watched a movie after a LONG day of classes. It was nice to take a little break, but now it’s back to the grindstone. Neuro continues to be my nemesis, so I'm focusing on it a lot, at the expense of my other classes.

At least the weather finally feels like Fall! After several depressing days of rain, the showers finally stopped, and now it’s a nice breezy temperature outside. Time to pull out the sweaters, jackets, and long-sleeved shirts!

Creativity and Glee

This weekend I took the time to decorate some cards for my friends. I'm not very artistically inclined, so I got most of my ideas from a book I have called "The ABC's of Creative Lettering". Here's a picture of two of the cards I designed:

I also started watching the first season of Glee this weekend, and I'm addicted! It's such an interesting show and the musical numbers are fantastic! I kind of cheated and watched an episode of the current season, because I wanted to see the episode with Britney Spears. I thought Heather Morris (aka Brittany) did an awesome job of performing Britney's songs. She even looked remarkably similar to the real Britney! Of course, Lea Michele (aka Rachel) was amazing as always, too.

Besides that, I've spent a lot of time studying this weekend in preparation for next week, which my class has already dubbed "hell week". We have three tests next week, the first of which is the dreaded Neuro exam. I also have my first skills check this Friday, which will involve getting patients in and out of bed and into wheelchairs. Seems like a no-brainer, but there's actually a lot of little things to remember. Plus, the session is going to be recorded and I'll be graded on it. It's a lot of pressure.

My favorite poems

I really enjoy poetry, as long as it's traditional poetry- ie, has a rhyme scheme and rhythm. Free verse poetry is not my favorite, nor do I like haikus, which seem kind of pointless. I especially like poems with a deeper meaning, symbolism, or irony. Robert Frost is probably my favorite poet, and the following are my favorite poems:

1. The Road Not Taken- Robert Frost
2. In Flander's Fields- John McCrae
3. If- Rudyard Kipling
4. Daffodils (aka: I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud)- William Wordsworth
5. Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening- Robert Frost
6. The New Colossus- Emma Lazarus (poem on the Statue of Liberty)
7. The Star Spangled Banner- Francis Scott Key (our national anthem is only the first stanza; the rest of the poem is amazing too!)
8. Sonnet 18- William Shakespeare
9. Trees- Joyce Kilmer
10. Choices For a Girl- Ramona K. Cecil

The last poem is an inspirational Christian poem that I had on a plaque hanging in my room. I would read it all the time- I loved it. Sadly, the framed poem somehow got lost when my family moved into their new house. Luckily, I had big portions of it memorized, or else I would NEVER have found it on the internet. As it was, I could only find the complete poem on one website- a blog of a girl from India- go figure! Since it's so hard to find, and since no one else has probably ever heard of it, I'll type it here on my blog.

Choices For a Girl
Your whole life is before you
A page so clean and white
All that will be written there
You must choose to write

Remember that you're special
God will always be with you
A woman doesn't follow
What "all the other girls" may do

Prayerfully consider
Every choice that you must make;
How you choose to live your life-
The husband you will take

With Christ as your example
You need never be afraid
Or have cause to be ashamed
Of the choices you have made
(Ramona K. Cecil)

Looking back

Everything seems easier in retrospect. When I think of college, I remember it being a lot easier than I know it was at the time. I look back at my childhood days, and I think of them as the best days of my life. But I know bad stuff happened, and when you're a kid, you feel like the world is coming to an end every time something bad happens. So my memories aren't reliable. I know there have been plenty of bad moments in my life, but when I look back at different time periods, I tend to remember the good stuff. It suddenly struck me that, despite grad school being tough and tiring right now, one day I might remember it fondly as the "good ole' days". I realized that I should probably try to enjoy grad school now and appreciate what I have while I have it, instead of years down the road.

I wrote a poem about the unreliability of memories and how things change from a different perspective. Don't laugh.

Reflections on the Past
Some days, in quiet reflections, I
Look back on days long past and wonder
If I was really happier then
Or did I change things in my mind’s eye
Making sunshine from days of thunder?

Because in my memories I see
Bliss and happiness and carefree days
I don’t remember tribulations
Although I’m sure in reality
They were filled with them in many ways

If I ponder long and hard, I can
Remember both the bad and the good
And I realize that life was never
Perfect, but a transient mental scan
Paints a flawless picture of girlhood

I wish I could go back and enjoy
Time with no expectations, issue,
Or worry; the past is alluring-
It’s safe, there’s nothing hidden or coy
About it; yet once, before we knew
What would come, the past was the future.