Why am I doing this again?

So, the week from hell is now over. I've realized that no matter what, we're bound to have at least one or two weeks every semester when it seems like everything is due. (Not including finals week; that's a given). This week was horrible not only because we had two tests and a quiz in a two-day span, but also because it was our first test in M&A and Exercise Phys, so we had no idea what to expect. I knew I had to memorize a lot of information, but both tests were much harder than I anticipated. Dr. Ross basically treats Exercise Phys like a joke, but he still put random numbers and formulas on the test. It was frustrating because he never explained those things well in the first place. For M&A, I was definitely expecting Dr. Puzzle's test to be hard, but it was EXTREMELY hard. There were so many tricky and confusing questions that I had a headache by the end of the test.

Not surprisingly, everyone in the class seems to be really stressed out right now. What is surprising is the fact that I've heard from at least 3 different people that they've had second thoughts about continuing in the program! One guy said that after the M&A test he was so upset that he almost walked down to Dr. Mayhew's office to tell him that he was dropping out of PT school. Another girl was having such a mental breakdown that she skipped an entire day of class (which is unheard of in this program; no one ever skips). I think it just comes with the territory- grad school is going to be difficult and stressful. You're going to question why you're doing this. You're going to question IF you can do this. You're going to have days where you feel depressed and burned out. You're going to have days where you feel like you'll never, ever have enough knowledge or skill to be a practicing PT.

It's in those moments that you figure out why you're doing this. It's in those moments where you find the inner strength and determination to go on. It's in those moments where your friends and classmates (who have felt exactly the same way at one point or another) can encourage you and support you. Because the truth is, we've all gone through those feelings of self-doubt. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one who struggles in this program. It's hard. It's a lot to learn. But in the end, knowing that we made it through despite difficult material, long nights, and endless studying is what's going to make it worth it. Seeing how far we've come (hopefully we'll know a lot more at the end of these three years) will make us appreciate all the hard work it took to acquire that knowledge. And everything we've gone through together creates a special bond for us as a class. So the next time I feel like I should drop out of PT school, I think I'll come back to read my own post and remember why I should stay!